Cow Humor
Political Doctrine In Terms of the Cow
Socialism — If you have two cows, you give one to your neighbor.
Communism — If you have two cows, you give them to the government, and the government gives you some milk.
Fascism — If you have two cows, you keep the cows but give the milk to the government, which then sells you the milk at a high price.
Nazism — If you have two cows, the government shoots you and keeps the cows.
Reaganomics — If you have two cows, you sell all your excess milk to the government which, in turn, ships it to fascist and communist governments.
Anarchism — If you have two cows, your neighbor to the left takes one cow and your neighbor to the right takes the other; meanwhile, your backyard neighbor takes the milk, the bucket and the stool.
Utopianism — If you have two cows, Mother Nature zaps the cows, turning their udders into eternal milk-shake dispensers.
Pure Socialism — You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows.The government gives you as much milk as you need.
Bureaucratic Socialism — You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.
Pure Communism — You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
Russian Communism — You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
Dictatorship — You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
Pure Democracy — You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
Representative Democracy — You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
Bureaucracy — You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms and account for the missing cows.
Surrealism — You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.