Cow and Farm Animal Humor

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Cow Riddles

What do you call a cow that’s just given birth?

Decalfenated.

How does a farmer count his cows?

Using his cowlculator.

Why does a cow wear a bell?

Because her horns don't work.

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

Do cows give milk?

No, you have to take it from them.

What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog?

Hound beef.

What newspaper do cows read?

The Daily Moos.

What goes “ooo ooo ooo”?

A cow with no lips.

What do you call a cow without legs?

Ground beef.

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

How do you get bull to quit charging?

Take away his credit card.

Where does a cow go dancing?

At a meat ball.

What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?

Milk and quackers.

Where does a cow go when she looses her tail?

A re-tail store.

What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?

A milk dud.

Why does a milking stool have only three legs?

Because the cow has the udder.

What do you call the spots on black and white cows?

Holstains.s

What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?

Milk of amnesia.

Where do cows go when they want a night out?

To the moovies.

What was the bull doing in the pasture with his eyes closed?

Bull-dozin’.

Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?

Because the farmer had cold hands.

Why don't cows have any money?

Because farmers milk them dry.

What do cows wear in Hawaii?

Moo-moos

Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?

To get chocolate milk.

Where do smart cows go to college?

Cowlumbia University

What do you hear when you drop a water-balloon on a cow?

"Cowboom!"

What's the cow's favorite TV show?

Steer Trek

Which cows knit the best sweaters?

Jerseys.

What is every cow's favorite movie?

The Sound of Moosic.

What do you call it when one cow spends her day spying on another cow?

A steak out.

For more, see our cow jokes

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